Loss...

They say, when you have a child it's like seeing a little part of your heart walk around outside your body...Today, to me, after losing someone who meant the world to me, it feels like another part of my heart has been torn, and a hole is all that's left.

They say it gets easier, and after the loss of my grandfather I know that's true...but today it does not feel easier, today sitting alone, I feel very alone. I know that grief is "merely for ourselves" - I know that my grandmother is in a better place right now, not hurting not wanting for anything - but I am selfish, today, I am selfish...I want her here with me, I want to hear her words one last time, see her smile and hear her laugh.

Today, I am selfish because I hate that I am alone, being single SUCKS, I see couples around me, laughing, comforting each other, then there's me, utterly alone...

Yes, I know, selfish, that's me - that's me today...

Today we will bury, a woman who was more of a grandmother to me, than the "real" grandmother I had, my "real" grandmother passed way before I knew her - Lois, she was that person to me, she loved my grandfather like mad, helped him, cared for him...she was there for all of us. However, because I was not "blood" - I am not "counted" by her "real" family - and today, that hurts....

Today, for me is a day of great loss, sadness and pain...today, we lay to rest one of the greatest people in my life...

Sorry, morbid post - but if you take anything from this take this -

Don't wait-
Call that loved one, it's been to long. Hug that child, make sure they know how much you love them...today is a gift that's why they call it the present...don't waste it...treasure your today, for we are not promised tomorrow.